normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
