Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
