i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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