I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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