I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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