no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
