dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
