Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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