Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
