I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
