Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
