When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
