What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
