you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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