she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
