Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
