Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
