Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize