we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
