could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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