I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
