I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
