I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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