Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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