so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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