the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
