In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
