Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
