He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
