can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
