i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
