cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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