hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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