Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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