so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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