Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
