he shaved USA in his pubs
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
