dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All I want is dick and wine.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
