dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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