Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
