so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm passing your future prison.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
