we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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