I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
