You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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