Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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