please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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