Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
