What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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