it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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