Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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