The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
