He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
