WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
