On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Less talking, more tequila
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
